What do you think of my tattoo/piercing idea?

I am a large white male. I'm thinking of getting a set of tattoos and piercings and want some feedback. Basically, I want to get each of my buttcheeks tattooed to look like hot air balloons, with colorful patterns. Then, I want to get a piercing under each buttcheek and put in earrings that are dangling miniature wicker baskets. I would have twin hot air balloons! The only problem is I might have trouble finding the earrings i'm looking for...but is this a great idea?